itwasnt easy trying to get out of bed this morning but i did it nways. its not exactly day two yet but i kinda take it as it is..shift was rather alright.. the usual slamming and blah,blah..but there was just something missing.. and so i thought about it..had 20mins break only cause it was slamming the whole day..like where the hell did all this people come from? ohgod.. besides work i think there's nothing much..just that my life has been taken to the "boring" level..its basically work&home..oh well i shant dwell on it anymore..gonna call it a day now.. eyes are tired and of course my brains are,too..
im longing for your return..
i noe it wont be soon..
i just wish you could see how
much you really meant to me...
~Day one
Everything was alright till the text came in..i hide at e back to cry my fucking self out.. dried my tears as i was still on floor..it's just so hard. i never thot i would be this broken. I noe im stronger then this but im not showing it enough..now i've got no one to text.. just no one to entertain me no more..it really hurts. im lost but at the end of the day i have to pick myself up and clean those wounds myself.. i wanted so badly to call em up but why didnt i? i couldnt bring myself to face em no more.. i get the big picture now,life. im gg thru this all alone and it sucks..i dont noe why i beat myself up every single time..im tired of crying but that is the only thing that makes me feel better each day..i wish i could have someone here to hug me real tightly and tell me that everything's gonna be alright.. That's all for now..im tired&mentally drained out..
i shall still continue to love you silently..
i really dont noe why im feeling this..i dont know if you're reading this. But i know i made a mistake and it was a fucking huge mistake. I guess im regretting every single fucking move i made but its all too late..all i wanted was for you to show me that you loved me that much like how you spoke about me non-stop. at first i tot about it and i told myself just maybe you're like that? there are certain days where i really feel that you want me so badly and just too badly to let me go and call it a day after a whole day spent together..i tot i cld move on but i couldnt..that period of time i kept fighting for you despite the miscommunicatopn and all the fucking stories that i've been hearing..but just when i know what i really want you had to pin me down to the floor..if you really loved me and wanted to start afresh,you would have approach me first before approaching my friends..that was respect..but no you didnt. you went to comfront everybody without me knowing..i felt so jaded. maybe its karma? for not telling you everything..nobody in this world wanna be in this situation im in right now..or then. i've lost almost everything here. if you didnt walk out on me all this wouldnt have happen..at the back of my head was "would she even noe that im still waiting,will she return to me?" i still crawled and tried to get to you..i felt like a fool chasing after you..in the first place if you loved me you wouldnt even hurt me for the 2nd time in a row..despite that,i got myself together to work things out.. months past&i could feel that we were somehow fading&every single time we had a tiff,i would apologise just to make things better even thou it wasnt my fault..why? cos i knew i could lose you again..after what you texted me? how do you expect me not to have doubts about your love for me? everything is just so messed up right now..i went throught so much and this is what i get in return..sometimes i just feel like no matter how much i try i'm never good enough for you..its not about how many relationship you've been thru but how much you've sacrifise to make that someone happy..have i not always surprise you? have i not always treated you specially?for you,you might be thinking its not about all the surprising and shit but what have i not given you when i was madly in love with you?all i ask for was your love..a simple gesture would already make my day but there wasnt any sort of that effort being use..is it because of my age? after today,after all the confrontation..what was your conclusion? i got it! you wanted to embarras me,if that was your way of making me realise my mistake? you did exactly just that..where am i suppose to go now? i really dont noe...i cant get a proper job? i cant do anything for nuts!? what is there for me here now? the fact that you kept raising the issue about me lying day by day and you called me a lier? nobody in this world is perfect and everyone lies..yes no doubt its not an excuse but i just didnt want to hurt you..waited for a year just to get to know you better..after the fourth day you broke me but we picked up from there and made things happen till 8-10-10. i've fought for us from the very begining but we you? you know the answer...why did you let it go? you cause all this...you complicated things up..why? and only when you knew that i seeing her&etc you started to be the you that i knew..in the club was just so unbelievable..sometimes i just wanna reverse the time and pause it to the day when we were in the club despite the drama..why did you even made me promise that no matter what i had to be with you for that day? why have you got to ask me that when we were in the cab? why? it dosent matter now im guessing cause bottom line is that i deserve all this? i saw this coming...i've said what i wanted to...
i feel you even though we're apart and without you theres a hole in my heart, though i tried i just cant adjust.what happened to us?
we were in love we both felt the same the good thing that we had girl was insane we had a bond that would never break why we let it go..we used to stay all night long kissing to our favorite songs.Tell me where it all went wrong thats what i got to know...
thought that i could get over you but baby that is so far from true.Baby i got something i want to discuss..
i think that we oughta gotta work it out like air.Your love i cant live without so have mercy dont leave me in doubt saying i love still hurts, still burns, still burns i try to go my separate way, at first i thought it was okay..i miss you more with each day, so to you i turn...
i know that you saw me with someone else but believe me im all by myself..
i hate when you’re thinking about something and you refuse to tell me what it is.
It makes me second guess myself.
Did I say something wrong?
Did I not remember something I should have?
Are you thinking of someone else you’d rather be with?
I hate not knowing.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.
Without these small tests, life would be a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.
Hello earthlings!
okay im home and lazing around on a Sunday?!
i cant meet my babyy cause she has got plans with her family
and as for me im just lazing around till its 6-ish!?
haha..6-ish cause im gonna have a family gathering
at i-dont-know-where and all my cousins will be there im guessing?
sighh..i seriously want time to passby faster..
cause its way too slow now?!i wanna meet her so badly sobsob.
oh wells i shant think about it anymore...nways i’ve decided to post up some pictures for you
readers to view in my next post..since im bored why not? So enjoy.. ((:
i miss you,bbylove..
i really do..
I miss you. I want to be with you and hold you.
I want to gently touch your face and cup your cheek
in my hand as i look into your beautiiful eyes.
I want to snuggle and cuddle with you, to just be close to you.
I want to stare across the couch as we talk of our feelings for one another.
I want to hold your hands across the table at a restaurant.
I want others in the restaurant to be jealous of
our intimacy and our tender affection for one another.
I want to lie next to you and just gaze into your eyes.
I want you to know how beautiful you are to my eyes.
I want you to know how much i cherish and adore you.
I want to give my heart to you.
I want your heart, i want it all....
I’ve missed those.....
Is it the way im acting?
Or am i becoming just too attached?
Too downheartened...
Holaa people!
I know my second mothsary was like thirteen days ago
But i still wanna post about it thou.. :D
Hmm...well our second monthsary was rather a simple
Outing nothing fancy cause we dont really celebrate
Even numbers for there’s reason behind those numbers we see..
Nyahahaha..but love the outing even thou it was full of pinches&bite marks all over my arms
But loved everyone single little oh-so-painful marks! ((:
We basically walked around singapore?cause the initial plan was that we were suppose to fly a kite
At sengkang but the weather was just aweful ))’:
Nevertheless we still manage to make our way to the esplanade after exploring
Singapore close to 4hours or so...?nyahahaha :D
We spent the night@esplanade just sitting by the bay and talking about mostly everything!?
I LOIKED!!! I gave her a card that i drew that night and we snapped pictures..?
Like i said nothing fancy but just a day out together <3
And babyy i loved how we can talk for hours,and laugh it off everytime we come to think about it..
Nothing beats a day spent with you,love... <3
More to come?! Puh-leeeease...!
every step we took we've grown,l
ook how fast the time has flown,
a journey to a place unknown,
we're going down in history... ♥
Harloww earthlings!
I know i’ve been missing for more than a month now?!
and so i decided to take this time to update this dead blog of
mine..haa..
nways nothings changed over the months?!
im still the same thou living the hectic live as usuall?
im starting to miss all my friends back in clicnical posting?
as im on LOA (leave of abscece ))’:
hmmm let me just re-cap wateva i did during the past month..
*thinks*
actually nothing,like i said..
spent most of my time with my babyy,my love ones,friends&nurses?!
other than that,i’ve been busy lately working in the hospitals?!
from CGH to IMH and back to CGH again...
it has never been any more interesting! :D
now talking about my deployment to the various hospitals,i’m missing
my patient,yes i really meant my patient..really badly!
especially those at IMH..sighh ))’:
i think amongst all posting from my nursing department,the posting
at IMH was the most nerve racking but yet the most memorable one!
no doubt we had to calm ourself down to a new environment but the experience
itself being able to nurse the patient there is worthless..seeing them smile and be themselve all
around me, is far most amazing <3. Cause i know nothing can replace those smile on their faces
but my service to the community as a nursing student has been extended and i feel absolutely
happy at the end of my two weeks posting.well i guess that’s the life that im in now?
not sure when i’ll be able to join my clinical buddies again thou..
but i pray for it to be soon???
besides my nursing life,i’ve been spending my time with my babyy...
mostly during the weekends <3
i’ll take her shoppin at town..den to town..er den back to town..
basically town is where we’ll always be..nyahaha ((:
catching movie was also part of our routine cause as promised,i’ll
take her to the cinema’s at least once a month so that we wont be lagging far behind from the
outside world.. other than that she’ll be working and i’ll do my part time job by bombing her phone
with countless sms-es just to let her know that i’ved missed her!?
and she’ll have to leave with no choice but to reply to those mushy sms-es.tsktsk..
I LOVE YOU,SAYAAAANG <3 *hugssssssssss*
well that’s about it earthlings.. ((:
If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky.
You can hide underneath me and come out at night.
When I turn jet black and you show off your light,
I live to let you shine.
Don't tell me what to do
cuz I dont give a shit
don't tell me what you feel
cuz no one wants to hear it!
Don't you dare touch or hurt me
for you know not what's inside
I just get madder and madder
to forgive you, this I've tried!
And as the years go by
it's your blood that I will thirst
you'll be lucky if I die
cuz I'll get to you first!!!
In life, we receive a wonderful opportunity, and that is to love. Love comes in many forms.
You love people in different ways and for different reasons, depending upon how they have touched
your life. Love is a very powerful word and can describe a multitude of feelings, but its main
context carries the same meaning.
I want to tell you that the love I have for you is undying. It is a love that is strong and enduring and
will stand the test of time. I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life. I want to
lie next to you at night and fall asleep in your arms, only to wake to your
beautiful smile. I want
to share in your joys and sorrows. I want to be your everything. You are, everything to me.
You are everything I do. You see and bring out the best in me.
You are the one I want to share everything with - my thoughts, hopes and dreams.
Thinking of you makes my heart feel full.
You are such a source of inspiration for me.
I will forever be indebted to you for all you have brought to my life....
You were always right there when I needed you,babyy.
Mom,
I know in my heart that you are my soul mate. I thank God everyday for this wonderful
relationship that we share. All my dreams and hopes are for you, and though you might
not always see the way I do things now, I know you always trust me to do my best.
We’ve always had our secret place, and even our secret look and secret handshake. You
know, whenever I feel down and sad, I still go to our own happy place. I remember you
talking to me softly and telling me everything’s going to be fine. That’s how much I
value your trust in me, Mom. I know you have faith in me so I do my best to get through
all my troubles with you as my model of strength.
Even when we’re apart, believe me when I say you will always be in my heart. I will never
forget the way you held me when I thought I had no one to turn to. Mom, I cannot thank
you enough for being there for me, even when you’re really so far away physically. I
miss you and I will always love you.
Just in case tomorrow never comes,I just want to tell you that you have left footprints on my heart.
Har-loooooow-hh people!im back like finally after baga-zillion years..((:
Haa..so im here to update on my current activities i guess?!
Oh well i dropped by jalan jamal yesterday(26/02/10) that is,because my babyy was working?!
Baaaaaaaaaahh..ohh and i didnt know that kakak was working too!so yeah i killed two birds in one
stone.i l0ike!! Okayy that’s beside the point.after a puff just minutes before work actually starts
for the both of them,we did some catchin up andd decided to physco the oh-so-busy
yoyen in coming downn to jj..teehee ((: after much physco-ING,she finally decided to come
down! So its triple the HAPPINESS for me (: cos its been like soooooo long since i saw her?! )’:
so when she came down@like almost 9:30pm i did some catchin up den she surprised the oh-so-dissappointed kakak?
cos i tricked kakak into telling her that yoyen was not coming down and yadaa...yadaa..yadda..
andd she believed it!!i feel bad now but oh well... (((: hahah i think that’s about it on the 26th of february ??!
andd so i shall begin with today,27th of february?i met babyy@4:30pm today even though
i slept@12am the day before laa.. -.- i still cant believe i slept that long?!
then again,i woke up only@2pm so got changed and all set to travel to sengkang
to meet my babyy ♥
after that we train-ed down to town as we wanted so badly to catch VALENTINES DAY
buuuuu-ht apparently we didnt manage to yet again!?urgggh...buuuuu-ht
we found another alternative?!tsk..tsk..we manage to catch DEAR JOHN
instead@cinelei-SURE! *irritatin* [she spells&laughs]the show was awesome!after movie,babyy accompanied
me to get my clothes from plaza singapura...HAPPYHAPPY ME!!
But not as HAPPY yet i shall say..cos i’ve yet to get my shoes andd pants! ))’: work,work,work!!
Urggh! Oh well i’ll suffer now but enjoy laterr,let it be pretty,pretty soon?!
okdah!before dinner,i brought babyy to DFS andd went directly to COACH
as she wanted to get a glimpse of the COACH wallets...babyy u’ll get it soon next im guessing?
we headed to far east plaza for dinner as i wanted so badly to have my fried wanton noodles?!
*slurpps* babyy had em’ too andd a lil’ spring roll as her side dish..((:
i made her feel so FEMININE adj ;womanish, that’s what she said?
just because i amazed her by finishing my noodles faster than she did which
i still didnt understand why?!baaaaaaaahh(((: den we walked around
to try to get my shoes but mission failed ): so somerset was where we heading next to meet yanyan?
met up with yan andd we walked to CTE flyover to chill andd enjoy the company of the cars????!
tsk..tsk..but sadly got chased away.... ): buuuuuu-ht we managed to snap manymany pictures(:
which will be uploaded pretty much laterr i guess?!
Other than that,we didnt do anything much??!
but i enjoyed the time spent with you babyy ♥♥♥
currently:talking to babyy ♥ [that explains the response as mentioned above]
Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the night's so long
Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy
Yeah, when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I, I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore and I
Can't find my way home anymore
That's when I, I, I look at you
When I look at you
I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong and I know
I'm not alone
Yeah, when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I, I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore and I
Can't find my way home anymore
That's when I, I, I look at you
You, appear, just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colors that
Cover me
All I need
Every breath, that I breathe
Dont'cha know?
Your beautiful
You appear just like a dream to me..
Wenever I miss you,
I wont look for you in my dreams
or try to hear your voice in your msg's
I'll jus put my right hand across my chest and feel you!
babyy i love youu.... <3<3<3
i'll be my own kind,then!? (:
Boo earthlings!
Im finally back in action!wakakaka ((:
Oh well was suppose to study..okok revise i mean for my GERON test which is
like tomorrow?!OHMYGOSH!! 
:x
but here is a list of things i did 2day huh-h!
1)woke up @ 12 noon.
2)texted babyy @ 1pm
3)went online?
4)slept till 5pm?
Err,,yeah that’s what i did 2day?!
den again @ 6pm did some revision..yup just abit ((:
well done to myself?! No?yess? BLEAH~
after revising for 45mins or so,i decided
to flood babyy’s inbox with my little messages?!
hahaa..flooded her phone with 17 lilbbysatan sms-es all in one go!
HAPPINESS+YAYNESS :D
heeehe she was surprised i guess?cos receiving 17 msg-es all in one go?!
hmmm,how often do you get that?!
babyy texted me later on with her wide smile i know for sure!
haaaha..babyy i hope you like those sms-es?that was the least i could do whenever i’m not there
with you..
?!now currently,im waiting for her text? the last was@10.30pm?!
and so im waiting for her text still,but while i was waiting
for your text babyy,i wrote something for you.. ♥♥♥
babyy...
I love you. I love every little thing about you. I love your cute smile, your magical eyes, and the sound
of your voice. I love your gentle touch, and I love the warmth I feel when I’m by your side. I can't
stop thinking about you when we are apart. I need you by my side. You complete me. You mean
the world to me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the one I've
always wished for. I never thought that I would ever meet someone as special as you. I love
each and every moment I share with you.
When we’re apart you’re all I think of.
I long to see your eyes and smile.
Eyes that sparkles like precious gems.
A smile that lights up my heart with joy and love,
like the Light of the World shining down from Heaven.
I long to hold your hand.
Just a touch warms my soul on the coldest day.
I long to hold you in my arms.
Arms that give me such a sense of security
that nothing could ever take you from me.
I long to kiss your precious lips.
Lips as sweet as candy exploding with passion.
Forgive me if when we’re together
I can’t stop adoring your divine beauty.
Even though you don’t tell me you love me,
I know what love feels and looks like.
I see love glistening in your eyes.
I feel love in the warmth of you hands
and in the tremble of you kiss.
You may not be sure that you love me yet,
but I have no doubts that you do.
Babyy,i love you and i miss you.... ♥
mePLUSyouequalsONEfourteeFIVE°
Your birthday's a time for careful reflection
About your life, and its future direction
You see where you've been when you look at the past
Most of it's great,you had quite a blast!
You wonder what's coming, what life has in store
Will it be just the same? Will there be a new door?
Remember this, as you blow out the last candle
Life holds no challenge that you cannot handle.
There is no better friend than a sister. And there is no better sister than you.♥ ♥ ♥
"Once in a while you meet someone, and soon you both discover the two of you are truly something special to each other.You share your thoughts and feelings so relaxed, so openly, and right away you know your friendship's truly meant to be."
Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many friends you have
Or how accepted you are.
Not about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone.
It isn't about who you're dating,
who you used to date, how many people you've dated,
or if you haven't been with anyone at all.
It isn't about who you have kissed,
It's not about sex.
It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have
Or what kind of car you drive.
Or where you are sent to school.
It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.
Or what clothes you wear,
what shoes you have on,
or what kind of music you listen to.
It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown
Or if your skin is too light or too dark.
Not about what grades you get,
how smart you are,
how smart everybody else thinks you are,
or how smart standardized tests say you are.
It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport.
It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and seeing who
will "accept the written you."
LIFE JUST ISN'T.
But, life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully.
It's about keeping or betraying trust.
It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It's about what you say and mean,
maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It's about what judgments you pass and why.
And who your judgments are spread to.
It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention.
It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate and love,
letting it grow, and spreading it.
But most of all,
it's about using your life to touch or poison other people's hearts in such a way
that could have never occurred alone.
Only you choose the way those hearts are affected,
and those choices are what life's all about.
Im still yearning for your return..
I miss your sms-es..
Especially if i would have a test to seat for..
What have i done wrong till i deserve this..
I really do miss you..
I wanna text you but i stop myself....
Pls do come around,soon?
If I wrote a note to God
I would speak whats in my soul
I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away
and for love to overflow
If I wrote a note to God
I'd pour my heart out on to each page
I'd ask for wars to end and for peace to mend this world
I'd say give us the strength to make to make it through
Help us...find love 'cause love is overdue
And it looks like we haven't got a clue need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
'Cause it seems like so much is going wrong on this road were on
If I wrote a note to God
I would say whats on my mind
I'd ask for wisdom to let compassion rule this world until these times
If I wrote a note to God
I'd say please help us find our way
End all the bitterness put some tenderness in our hearts
And I'd say give us the strength to make to make it through
Help us...find love 'cause love is overdue
And it looks like we haven't got a clue need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
'Cause it seems like so much is going wrong on this road were on
No ,we can’t do it on our own so give us the strength to make to make it through
Help us...find love 'cause love is overdue
And it looks like we haven't got a clue need some help from you
Im still waiting for babyy’s
Msg to tell me that she’s home safely?!
Haizz..i miss her so badly that sometimes
I just cant sleep but just keep thinking of her
And our silly conversations..
Babyy i wonder where you could be right now..?
I shall wait for ur msg... ):
Boo!im back people!
Before i start typing,let me just warn you that this post is
Gonna be yet another long one?haa..
Thought i should just give you readers a lil warning
Cos i dont want you guys to be cursing nor swearing?!!
Oh well lets start!
Today was just another cranky day for everyone..
And to all my dearest cousins,if you guys are reading this i dont want you
Guys to get all ****ed up over it cos i will say this just once: “its said&done,we can only look
forward&make it right”just now was just shiat!i felt like as if i was left or rather a stronger word
perhaps,PUSHED away?!you guys think you guys are the only one with plans?
I do have my own plans too?but we just had to cancelled them just to show some respect didnt we?
I would just like to ask?were we given the chance?i guess no?
and everybody was just moody as their
respective plans had been cancelled due to you-know-who!!! and it wasnt fair at all...
Have you guys ever felt the same for me?i felt tired too...
Honestly speaking my,mind,my body,my soul aint anyway near where we were today..
I felt like just breaking down just now..
I tried stratin up a conversation but it always ended with QUOTE:”i dont konw?”
Is being youngest amongst the rest always like that..cos if it is a yes,i dont want it anymore!
I tot i always am the pampered one that receives all the attention?!im not saying that
I dont?i do but ever since granny was warded you guys think highly of urselfs?!!
Really,really,really am upset about dinner and everything before that!
Even when we were all gettin ready for dinner which
we were all forced to go,each and every one of you was just HARSH towards me...
that’s the word to described you guys RIGHT NOW,THIS MOMENT!!do you think i like being forced to go places where i dont want to?!
and to you kak i was very hurt when you treated me like a stranger?
for once i felt like i wasnt your babycousin anymore?! During dinner,i tot everything was gonna be alright but i guess i was so wrong!
IT JUST GOT WORST???!especially the part when
we were all waiting for our food to arrive? YOU GUYS WERE JUST MUTE UHH!!and you guys were pushing me all away..especially when
question were being thrown at you guys,the arrow will always come to me!!that was the part i
couldnt take it?was i to do something bout it?words can express anything to me?!the least you guys
could do was communicate with me?!
every step i take,every move i make seems helpless??i guess i
shall stop my mulling!cos like as if you guys would even care?!?!uber dissappointed!
